you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
