I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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