I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize