Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize