things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
