yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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