Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
