in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
