DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
