i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
