My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
