he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
