so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
