Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
