Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
