Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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