but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
