I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize