hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
