so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
