I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
