dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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