Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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