My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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