Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
