Midget sex pt 2 tonight
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize