Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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