It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
