yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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