Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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