That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I skipped work to stalk him.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
