I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
