Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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