You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
