i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
