I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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