She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
