Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
