Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize