You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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