Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
