I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just had sex bonerless
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
