I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
