i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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