States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
