I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize