I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
