Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
