i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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