Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
