i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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