It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i think i just lost a toe
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
