her vagine was all disorganized.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i now understand why vodka
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
