who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
