ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
