Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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