Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
