I am in a vortex of obligation.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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