omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
ugly people sure do ruin things
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
