I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
