Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
