i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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