just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
